Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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