sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
