I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
