Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
