and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
