She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
