Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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