Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
