Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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