party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
