Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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