I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
