bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
