dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
