Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
