So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
