I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
