You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
