I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
