I love black thongs
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
