you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
