So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize