She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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