dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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