oh god the rape fog is back!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
