There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
