i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
