well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
