She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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