Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
