problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
