8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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