He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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