The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
