dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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