True but thats because hes a fetus.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
