they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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