a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
