she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
