Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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