My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
