they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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