The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
