are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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