Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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