Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
