She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
