she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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