I accidentally had phone sex last night
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
