And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
