So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize