What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
