Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
my being single is dangerous.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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