O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize