And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
