I want to make a zoo with you.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
