meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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