Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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