I wanna passion pit in your ass
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
